Annie Maude Dee Porter disliked Mothers Day. Her sentiments might have been reflected in the thoughts of Sharon Eubank who on Mother’s Day 2019 stated, “as a middle-aged woman with no kids, I have been by turns annoyed, amused, angry, breathless, and resigned on Mother’s Day,”[1] Eubank goes on to share how through an experience in Iraq”, motherhood suddenly became defined for me as those who behave the way good mothers do.” Annie Maude Dee Porter likewise came to a similar realization late in her life. Though she never had biological children of her own, she was in a very real sense a mother because she behaved the way good mothers do.
On 8 January 1947, Maude Dee Porter phoned the Weber College dean of women with a request.[2] Maude’s husband, Richard “Dick” Porter, had died thirteen months earlier. Prior to that she had been deeply involved in the daily operations of the Ogden Canteen, but with the end of the war and the closing of the Canteen, she suddenly had little to do, and was painfully lonely without the companionship of her husband.[3] A recent knee injury and her own declining health were worrisome, so she was seeking a “sleeper in” who could work for room and board.[4] A student from the College would be wonderful. The dean informed Maude that she did have a candidate in mind. Two days later, Maude interviewed Fern Stoddard (my grandmother) for the position, and thus began a close friendship that would last nearly two decades.[5]
Fern’s service to Maude began regularly enough. She would wake up, make herself breakfast, go to school and after returning in the evening would clean, iron, dust, wash laundry and do dishes.[6] Over the ensuing months, they fell into a happy routine and coexistence. On Mother’s Day, Fern gave Maude a potted plant – an especially meaningful gesture for Maude given that she had no biological children of her own.[7] As this plant grew, so did Maude’s relationship with Fern. Soon they were sharing “hearty” meals together, and evenings on the terrace. When Maude felt like just staying home in her loneliness, Fern would encourage her to follow through with her social plans.[8] In the evenings they had long conversations and read together from Ethan Frome.[9]On June 5th, Maude took Fern to the station for her journey home for the summer. She assumed it would be the last of Fern staying with her, and she was sorry to see her go. However, in September, at the start of the new school year, Fern returned to live with Maude.[10] Maude was “glad of Fern’s company,” and they soon fell back into their regular routine. After Fern stayed out late for several nights on dates, Fern and Maude had a “serious talk about her schedule of activities.”[11] After all, every time Fern stayed out late, Maude would worry and stay up late waiting for her to come home.
Around this time, Fern and Maude’s relationship hit a turning point. On 7 February 1948 about fourteen inches of snow fell, so both of them stayed home. They made cookies and pie shells and listened to Carmen from the Metropolitan Opera which slowed them down some. The next day as they made dinner together, Fern turned to Maude and said, “Isn’t this fun!?” Maude stared at her quizzically. In her journal she wrote, “Anyway, we had a good meal.”[12] Maude, the widow of a successful investment banker, had traveled across the United States multiple times. Fern, who had grown up on a ranch in rural Idaho, had never traveled outside of mountain west. Perhaps, Maude and Fern’s perspectives on what constituted “fun” were quite different from each other’s. That evening, after returning home from church, Maude read to Fern from her journals about two of the trips that she had taken with her husband as if to say, “let me tell you about fun.” Thereafter, their routine coexistence grew into a relationship of mutual understanding and benefit.
On Valentine’s Day morning, Maude found a card from Fern at her breakfast plate. That evening, Maude treated Fern to a night out at a show. [13] Over the next several months Maude began helping Fern with her school lessons and would sometimes give Fern rides to school in her car.[14] In return, Fern spent many of her evenings with Maude listening to operas, accompanying her to shows and providing her much needed company.[15] On particularly hard mornings, Fern would bring Maude breakfast in bed.[16] On 2 May, Maude reported in her journal that there was a “Mothers Day program at Sunday School so I stayed away.” Instead, she “took Fern and… went for a nice ride in the bright May morning,” – perhaps the first indication that Maude had begun to view Fern as her own daughter.[17] From 21 May to 7 June, Maude went on a trip to New York. On Maude’s previous trips, Fern had gone home or gone to stay with her sister. This time, Maude left Fern in charge of the house and garden. When Maude returned, she found the house and garden in good shape and also discovered that Fern had placed fresh flowers next to Dick’s picture on the piano.[18]
That summer, Fern continued to live with Maude. They went on walks in the evening, canned together (as Fern often had done growing up in Idaho), read from Rudyard Kipling’s Kim, and discussed Dickens’ David Copperfield.[19] Maude presented Fern with a pin she had bought her on the trip to New York, and Fern cooked a trout for Maude she had brought back from a weekend trip to Idaho.[20] Later in the summer, Maude took Fern on several excursions including a family picnic in Snow Basin.[21] Later, Maude took Fern to Graycliff, a lodge that Maude’s father had built for the Dee family as their summer home in 1912.[22] “Fern had never been there and [Maude] wanted her to have a glimpse of the scene of some of [her] early years. Dick and [her] together then. A good dinner.”[23]
After two years at Weber College, Fern was considering attending Brigham Young University in Provo. Over the course of the summer, she had been working, babysitting, and doing odd jobs for neighbors to try and save enough money for her plans. On 22 September, to Fern’s overwhelming surprise, delight and appreciation, Maude announced that she was going to pay the $103 for Fern’s tuition at BYU.[24]
Some say separation makes the heart grow fonder and this certainly was the case for Maude and Fern in their rounds of separation and reunion. On 24 September, Maude wrote, “Fern and I had waffles this [morning]. Our last meal together… and then I left Fern at the depot to go to her sisters. I was quite shaken at the parting but got settled down after I got home… We miss Fern.”[25] Over the course of the fall semester, Maude and Fern kept a close correspondence by letter. Maude was happy when Fern returned for a Christmas dinner proclaiming her a “great comfort and help.”[26] In early 1949, Maude visited Fern at BYU where she met Fern’s boyfriend and had a confidential talk about her plans for the future.[27] After the winter semester, Fern returned to live with Maude for the summer of 1949. During this time, Fern had a job in Ogden, but in addition to her work, she continued to do household chores for Maude. In the evenings, Fern kept Maude company as they had long conversations into the night, listened to radio programs, played Twenty Questions, ate suppers on the terrace, went on walks, and read A Tale of Two Cities.[28] Also during the summer, Maude cared for Fern after she got her wisdom teeth removed and observed with particular interest the developing romance between Fern and Pete Johnston.[29] In late September Maude recorded, “Fern [bought] the most beautiful rose bowl, blue and pink for me. We are both emotionally excited over her going. She is a dear daughter to me… These two young people together (Fern and Pete) bring back so many memories of my early acquaintance with Dick.” The following day after gifting Fern a book over lunch, Maude “said goodbye … (a wrench for both of us).”[30]
In the following weeks, Maude reflected, “It is like having a son and a daughter to have Pete and Fern around. I know Dick would enjoy them.” [31] “I miss the companionship of Fern, she is so sweet and understanding.”[32] “I am terribly lonesome without Fern and her pleasant company around.” [33] “I always feel that Dick would like her she could be our girl.” [34] Fern came back to Maude for General Conference weekend. She arrived at 3 AM and they stayed up talking until 4. “Fern and I got up late and had a cosy [sic] waffle breakfast together, she is a great comfort to me a sweet companion, I think always how much Dick would like her.”[35] A few days later, Maude wrote a letter to Fern and “signed [herself], Mom.” [36] Fern took a few weeks to respond to the letter, but when she wrote to let Maude know that she had been chosen as the “Dream Girl” of the Delta Phi Return Missionary Fraternity, Maude was thrilled and with all of the enthusiasm of a proud mother, called her friends to tell them the good news.[37] Maude immediately began looking for a formal gown for Fern and attended the homecoming festivities in Provo to see Fern in the parade.[38] On 18 November, Maude received a letter from Fern signed “your girl.”[39] Later the same weekend, Fern came for a visit and she and Maude stayed up talking until all hours. The next day at Maude’s birthday celebration Fern gave Maude a figurine, but she had already given her the gift she had hoped for. Maude now had a daughter.[40] Fern came to celebrate New Year’s with Maude and they finally found her a nice formal just in time for New Year’s Eve.[41] Maude would “never forget Fern’s delight at her new dress.”
1950 was a difficult year for Fern. After the growth that Maude and Fern had experienced in their relationship in the previous year, Maude was worried that Fern suddenly seemed “perfunctory and distant.”[42] She did not have long to take offense, however, before Fern was again in need of her help and support. On 29 January, Fern’s father, Ira Stoddard died of a heart attack.[43] Fern dropped everything and went home to Bancroft. In her mourning, Fern seems to have retreated from those wanting to help her. Maude, however, was persistent in her efforts to provide comfort and assistance. In March, Maude traveled to Provo and found Fern in her dorm room; they had a long talk.[44] Maude also did some reconnaissance of her own and asked several of Fern’s friends and associates about how she was doing. They resumed correspondence by phone and mail. Maude also regularly checked in with Pete to learn news about Fern. This valuable source of intelligence, however, soon clammed up.[45] With the stress of Fern’s senior year, the loss of her father and her uncertainty about the future, Pete and Fern’s relationship also soured. Maude knew Fern needed support during this time, but how could she help her? She bought a coat and sent it to her.[46] She also hatched a plan. Maude served on the board for the Dee Hospital with Superintendent Smith of the local school.[47] Fern would be graduating with a degree in elementary education, so Maude talked to Mr. Smith about Fern and arranged for her first job as a kindergarten teacher in Ogden. Naturally, Fern would come back to live with Maude, and living together Maude could better meet Fern’s needs.
Once Fern returned to live with Maude, Fern and Pete finally ended their relationship.[48] A few days later, Fern and Maude talked, and Maude concluded, “she has her problems.”[49] Maude never enumerated those problems, but her journal offers some clues. After returning to live with Maude, Fern began taking piano classes with Mona Smith at the University of Utah. Though Maude considered Fern to be quite talented, Fern was discouraged in her music studies.[50] Fern continued to date several men, but none of her relationships led to marriage.[51] When Fern’s cousin got married, she reported feeling “duncey.”[52] Fern had done well academically growing up in Idaho, but in college she was just one among many talented young women, and it seemed that she was consistently judged for her looks rather than her other qualities.[53] Over the course of her college studies she had struggled to find a place where she excelled, switching majors from business to English to elementary education and eventually to music.[54] Yet for all of her education and dating, she was still undecided about her future.[55] Perhaps most telling, is that Fern described herself to Maude as a “skeezix” – a cowboy slang term for an orphaned calf, and an apt description of Fern’s own life situation.[56] Fern’s biological mother had abandoned her family when Fern was just seven years old. Fern’s father died just before her twenty-first birthday. By 1950, Fern’s only family were her siblings and step-mother. But, Maude continued to care for Fern, the orphaned calf.
Maude did her best to help Fern through her problems. She helped Fern set up a bank account to hold the money she had inherited from her father’s estate.[57] She helped Fern with her kindergarten school activities.[58] She supported Fern through another surgery and recovery – this time to remove her tonsils.[59] She got her a job at the Utah Canning Company, which had been founded by Maude’s father Thomas Dee.[60] She accompanied Fern and Martha Jane Rickman Stoddard, to Fern’s graduation exercises at BYU.[61] As a graduation present, Maude bought Fern a bright rose colored dress and also arranged a three week train tour to Chicago, New York and Washington D.C.[62] On Fern’s first trip outside of Utah or Idaho, they went sight-seeing in Chicago, visited the U.S. Senator in Washington, attended the Watergate Opera, and watched four shows on Broadway including The King and I, South Pacific and Call McMadam (with Ethel Merman).
While Maude built Fern up in her confidence and abilities, she also found joy in the great benefit that Fern was to her. Shortly after returning to live with Maude, Fern began preparing to receive her temple endowment, an important temple ordinance for members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.[63] During this time, Fern served as a Sunday School Teacher, and in her preparations for her classes and the temple, she also pushed Maude to prepare to return to the temple. Maude commented that “Fern is sure lining me up for my religious duties.”[64] “Fern is a wonderful example to me she is so genuine and devout. I always think how much Dick would like her.” [65] On Mother’s Day, Maude actually braved going to church. Fern’s Sunday School class gave a musical number and it went very well. Later she and Maude drove out to Maddox’s for dinner, “Fern’s treat to her second mother.” [66]
In September 1951, Fern moved to Salt Lake City, perhaps feeling confident enough to strike out on her own.[67] Though she lived in Salt Lake, she still regularly came “home” for meals, visits and outings with Maude. Meanwhile, Maude continued to purchase clothing, gifts, and formals for her “daughter” who she missed dearly. She also began to take an interest in Fern’s other siblings often mentioning them, their visits and their families. After nine months away, Fern returned to live with Maude one last time in June 1952. When she moved back in, Frank Woodbury brought her and her many clothes and books and helped get her settled in.[68] They talked until 1 in the morning. “[Maude] also began to suspect [Fern] of a rather interested feeling for Frank.”[69] During the summer vacation, Fern began working at Dee Hospital, surely at least in part thanks to Maude’s influence.[70] Over the course of the summer Frank and Fern went on several dates to operas, to Lagoon amusement park, to canyon parties and picnics. Maude was a fan of Frank and when Fern went to Lagoon with an altogether different boy on 9 August, she scolded Fern.[71] From her view she thought “Fern is on the verge of a decision but she doesn’t know it yet. Bless her! How I wish I could talk it over with Dick!” Maude was right, four days later, she reported, “In the eve…Frank came … and we had music. I retired upstairs and was presently called down to guess what they had decided. They were both radiantly happy to announce their engagement. I was happy, too. Thinking of my own dear love and missing him so!” The next day, Fern and Maude looked over her cedar chest and arranged her linens. “Frank came in the eve, and [Maude] was again called to see something which was a diamond! Fern and Frank went to Farmington and to Salt Lake to tell news to families.”[72]
The next few months were a whirlwind. Maude helped Fern select and purchase her silver, find an appropriate night gown, get her wedding pictures, select and purchase a wedding dress, shop for her trousseau, schedule the wedding, reception and party.[73] Of Fern, Maude wrote, “she is adorable and very much in love.” The preparations continued: wedding invitations, collaboration with Fern’s stepmother on the plans, ordering the wedding cake from Topper Bakery where Fern had previously worked, gifts for the bridesmaids, a suitcase for Frank as a wedding present, a honeymoon suit for Fern.[74] With all the excitement, Fern became nervous. On 4 September she “became upset thinking of her affairs. She phoned Frank and he rushed up to comfort her and back home again.”[75] The next day, Fern purchased Frank’s ring, and that evening she was herself again. Two days later after a particularly long day of wedding planning, and after talking long into the night, Fern fell asleep exhausted on Maude’s bed. On September 16, Maude arranged a wedding shower for Fern with members of the Dee and Woodbury families and Fern’s roommate Donna.[76] “Fern alternately ecstatically happy and surprised to be looking forward to be married. Frank a pattern of devotion and understanding.”[77] Wedding plans continued and Maude assisted in arranging the reception at Bertha Eccles hall, as the wedding approached, Mattie came to stay with at the house with Maude, and both comforted Fern in her restlessness and nervousness the night before the wedding. With all of Maude’s assistance in planning, “everything was beautiful, and all went off like clockwork.” [78]
In April 1953, Maude received news that Fern was expecting. This news opened up a constant stream of gifts and maternity clothes from Maude.[79] Fern continued to send letters and telegrams on Mother’s Day, Maude’s wedding anniversary and holidays. Maude planned a baby gift with Louise Woodbury: a white baby shawl.[80] on 14 October 1953, Maude received a phone call announcing the birth of a beautiful baby girl at 8:08 AM. Maude phoned the Woodburys and all of her relatives with the news. A letter a week later shared more details “The baby, Cosette, is my grandchild she says.”[81]
Over the coming years, Fern and Frank announced the births of all of their children to Maude, once they finally settled into a more permanent home in Cleveland, Maude sent them more gifts: canned goods, a beautiful bedroom suite, a couch, a chair, and a bookcase. [82] Frank and Fern continued a long correspondence. Maude came to visit several times and Frank and Fern came with their family to visit “Aunt Maude.” When the family moved into a larger home in North Olmstead, Maude sent Frank and Fern a $2500 loan. They remained close friends until Maude’s death in 1964.
To this day, my father clearly remembers the night when his parents called all of their seven children around the kitchen table, and offered a prayer thanking God for the kindness and generosity of Maude Dee Porter. They had just written the last check to Maude’s estate to pay off her loan for their home. While they did achieve paying this loan back, yet they were still indebted to Maude. It was not possible to pay back the kindness, care, attention, love, support, mentorship and motherhood that Maude Dee Porter had shown to Fern all through her young adulthood. Thank you, Maude Dee Porter: friend, confidante, companion, counselor, and mother.
Do you have memories or information about Maude Dee Porter? Please leave a note in the comments.
[1] Sharon Eubank, “The Idea of “Mothers in Zion” Made Me Mad—Until I Learned What It Meant,” 11 May 2018, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/blog/the-idea-of-mothers-in-zion-made-me-mad-until-i-learned-what-it-meant?lang=eng, accessed May 2020.
[2] Annie Maude Dee Porter, Dee, Annie Taylor and Annie Maude Dee Porter Diaries, “1947 Annie Maude Dee Porter Diary,” January 8, p. 8, https://cdm.weber.edu/digital/collection/ANN/id/7187, accessed May 2020.
[3] Lorrie Rands, “Food, Comfort, and a Bit of Home: Maude Porter and the Ogden Canteen, 1942-1946,” Utah Historical Quarterly (Winter 2016, Vol. 84:1), p. 70-85, https://issuu.com/utah10/docs/uhq_volume84_2016_number1/70, accessed May 2020.
[4] Annie Maude Dee Porter, Dee, Annie Taylor and Annie Maude Dee Porter Diaries, “1947 Annie Maude Dee Porter Diary,” January 13, p. 10, https://cdm.weber.edu/digital/collection/ANN/id/7189, accessed May 2020.
[5] Annie Maude Dee Porter, Dee, Annie Taylor and Annie Maude Dee Porter Diaries, “1947 Annie Maude Dee Porter Diary,” January 10, p. 9, https://cdm.weber.edu/digital/collection/ANN/id/7188, accessed May 2020.
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[22] “About Us: Lodge Has Long Legacy,” https://grayclifflodge.com/?page_id=11, accessed May 2020.
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Genealogenes 
That is a beautiful tribute and an insight into what a great daily journal can provide us as family and genealogists. Thank you for sharing about this third mother for your grandmother.
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